Pregnant contortions

When I became pregnant there were many things I expected such as nausea, difficulty breathing in later trimesters, and even the emotional roller coaster. However, if someone had told me I would learn to be a contortionist I would have laughed! I mean seriously, who can contort with a looming belly sticking way over where it ought to be. Yet it is that exact belly that requires a certain amount of skill in the art of contorting. This morning after playing peek a boo with my feet I realized that my nails needed some clipping. Hmm, this could be the cause of a dilemma. How do I reach my toes? My stomach will not allow for just bending over. It won't allow for bringing my foot straight up either. So of course the only option is for bending the leg up to the side. Yet, I still can't see to clip at this point. Okay! In that case, I shall now tilt my leg up to the left and my foot all the way to the right. How the heck did Charlie Chaplin walk like this? Well at least I can now reach toes one and two. But what about three, four, and five? Tilt foot clear to the left. Hey there is number three! Do four and five really matter that much? I didn't think so. Now onto better things. Whoops I better pick that sock up off the floor. As I stoop the only way I can I discover toes four and five. Can someone please hand me the clippers before I lose my toes again????